Something about the economy, Egypt and education

The president is the tiny man getting mugged by all those movers and shakers while a vulture-like press corps looms above.

The president is the tiny man somewhere in the middle getting mugged by all those movers and shakers while a vulture-like press corps looms above.

The president’s team shook the trees and Warrensburg plopped to the ground.

“I’ve asked my team to shake the trees all across the country for some of the best ideas out there for keeping college costs down, so that as students prepare to go back to school I’m in a position to lay out what is going to be an aggressive strategy to shake up the system to make sure that middle class students, working class students, poor kids who have the drive and wherewithal and want to get a good college education, they can get it without basically mortgaging their entire future,” Mr. Obama said Wednesday to a crowd of – well I understand 1,400 tickets were given away – people in a UCM gymnasium where the mercury must have topped 90 degrees.

And so, after all the shaking came the planning as White House staffers called newsrooms with a detailed agenda:

“Hey, the president wants to visit the university in Warrensburg.”

“OK, how come?” says the editor.

“Something about the economy.”

“Sounds good. Hey, Sally, go cover the president at the university in Warrensburg.”


“Warrensburg. You know, they got that dog on the courthouse lawn.”

“Oh, sure, sure. What’s the topic?”

“Something about the economy.”

The patriotic bunting was unfurled on porch railings. Flags and flag-decorated balloons lined Holden and Pine streets. The Highway Patrol locked down DD Highway, and just about every piece of heavy machinery from Warrensburg public works blocked the sidewalks into the campus quad.

A voracious line of nine, wait, 16…hang on, someone said more showed up later…protestors queued up along the “free speech zone” by the amphitheater along Holden Street.

A man dressed in a black T-shirt with the word “Infidel” below some Arabic writing walked around carrying a sign that said “Illegal Prez,” or was it the sign that said “Egypt Got it Right.” No, I think it was the sign that said “Impeach Obama.”

I asked the guy who held aloft the “Egypt Got it Right” sign how Egypt got it right. He said they overthrew the Muslim Brotherhood-backed government.

“So, you think we should resort to violence?” I asked.

“Well no.”

But he insisted that we must overthrow our elected leader.

I asked him how it’s going in Egypt.

“It’s unstable,” he said.

But Egypt got it right.

Who wants a president who can fly into town, complain about an obstructionist Congress and then lay out a nebulous plan that targets our children?

Our children!

He actually thinks it’s OK that the university allows a public school district to train youngsters in high-tech gadgetry, get an internship at a high-tech firm and use that money to pay for a bachelor’s degree in two years.

Health insurance! Whatever Obama! I eat dirt like all good Americans. It’s full of minerals and that healthy bacteria stuff.

“But we have to get back our focus on what’s important,” Mr. Obama said. “An endless parade of distractions, political posturing and phony scandals can’t get in the way of what we need to do.”

Nothing phony about that IRS scandal. Some guy in a trucker hat with a deer inside crosshairs that says “The buck stops here” told me you ordered that scandal.

And you think helping kids get a high-tech education is what’s important? Hey, we got the vo-tech. Leave that electronic wizardry to the Yu-Gi-Oh losers at the comic book shop.

“I’m not going to allow gridlock, inaction or willful indifference to get in this country’s way,” he said. “Where I can act on my own, I’m going to. I’m not going to wait for Congress.”

Whoa there! You mean as hard as the Republicans try to block, you think you can still do stuff?

Invest in education. Invest in manufacturing. Invest in science and research. Invest in transportation. Invest in information systems.

Great, more spending.

Let the bridges fall. That creates jobs right there.

You just wait, buster. Pretty soon I’m going to coin another catchy slogan to snub you but good.

“If you think education is expensive, you should see how much ignorance is going to cost in the 21st century.”

Hey, what? Wait a second.

Alright, fine.


  1. #1 by atlyons on July 25, 2013 - 7:21 am

    Nice work Matt. I wish you’d blog more! It’s cool to get some introspection on your perspectives of things.

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